Dear Friends and Family,I used you, manipulated you, lied to you, and broke your heart. While you cried a thousand tears for me, I was getting high. I make no excuses. A pathological urge with no conscience, integrity, or morals drove me. I put you through hell, and I regret that. Going forward, I will
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What happens when you struggle with a substance use disorder that doesn’t respond to medication alone? Are you doomed to suffer for the rest of your life, or are there other alternatives? Addiction is a complex and multifaceted illness, and everyone struggles differently. Some have childhood trauma, others start with prescription medication, some come from
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As a person in long-term recovery working with families, it’s evident that substance use disorder devastates everyone in its path. Addiction is a soul-destroying disease, and in the throes of getting high, folks seldom think about how their actions affect the people who love them. Yet, addiction isn’t a singular act. It goes hand in
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Dave’s Story. The first time I met Dave, he was bent over a pool table with a cigarette dangling from his lips. Dave squinted down the table, yelled, ‘bank,’ and shot the ball. The ball careened off the sidewall and landed in the corner pocket. Dave spun on his heels, grinned at me, and drained
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When I first started using at fifteen, it didn’t occur to me I was self-medicating. All I knew was that the pain and turmoil inside me lessened when I drank or used drugs. Long before I picked up my first substance, I chose unhealthy roles to cope with my emotions. My first role was the
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Have you ever heard your addicted loved one say, “I’m only hurting myself?” You probably want to scream, are you kidding me?!The truth is, they’re not.That’s why it’s important to have outside help. When you love someone struggling with addiction, it hurts. You’ll be overwhelmed, angry, frustrated, worried, and anxious, all at the same time.
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In moderation, a glass of wine is a great way to unwind from a long stressful day. An ice-cold beer at a barbeque can be a conversation starter. A hot toddy will warm your insides on a cold winter day. Social gatherings are built around good food and good drink. But what happens when you
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When I first got high at fifteen, it didn’t occur to me I was self-medicating. All I knew then is that when I drank or used drugs, the pain and turmoil inside me lessened. Long before using, I chose unhealthy roles to cope with my emotions. My first role was the Invisible One. I was
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Addiction is a disease, that if left untreated, can have fatal results. Yet many families still buy into the shame and stigma, fighting their life and death battles alone, in secrecy, behind closed doors. One worried mother recently broke her silence and reached out to me. This mother had never talked to anyone before and
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It’s 3 a.m. and your son has not come home – again. You want to cry, or wail, or pound on the walls until your fists turn bloody. But you know that won’t change anything. Tears well in your eyes, as your husband sleeps beside you. For one crazy moment, you want to reach over
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Addiction comes in every shape, sex, color, and size. It affects every economic class and neighborhood and touches one in seven families across North America. We tend to believe addiction is about drug and alcohol abuse, and it is, to an extent. But drugs and alcohol are only a small part of the problem. The
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The Real Reasons You’re Not Getting Clean And Sober. People think they know you, but they don’t. Truthfully, you barely recognize yourself. Lately, you can’t even look in the mirror. You try not to think about it, but deep down, you know… your addiction is taking a massive toll on you and your family. Money,
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Survival In Families With Addiction. When a family member struggles with addiction, everyone in the family feels it. Living with a substance abuser is intense, scary, painful, and chaotic. To minimize chaos balance is sought within the family system through a mode of dynamics and survival. Family dynamics are the patterns of relating, or interactions,
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Recovering from addiction is both challenging and rewarding. To change one’s life, you must first admit there’s a problem. However, addiction is complicated and denial plays a vital role in this illness. Substance abusers minimize the severity of their problems, and recovery means more than just remaining abstinent. Abusing drugs and alcohol is only 15
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Nicole says her older brother Jim has become a stranger to her. She and Jim were close as children, but all that changed when Jim entered the eighth grade and started smoking marijuana and then moved on to harder drugs. Nicole went on to graduate high school and university, while Jim dropped out of school
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Life doesn’t always go as planned. You stumble, you fall, and for the most part, you pick yourself up and learn from your mistakes. Every experience we go through is meant to teach us something. But what happens when instead of learning from our mistakes, we keep repeating them? For people struggling with substance use
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No more would she live for othersShe stopped putting herself lastShe stopped settling for crumbsShe stopped asking whyIn front of the mirror, she finally understoodIt was time for her to lead the way Who’s Protecting You–From You? It’s not news that addicted persons are dying in their quest to get high. Nor is it surprising
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Addiction is an ugly disease that appears unseeing, unhearing, uncaring and unloving. You’ve probably talked to your loved one about getting clean/sober until you’re blue in the face. But you can’t seem to break through their enormous wall of denial. You’ve racked your brain trying to come up with the right words. You‘ve rehearsed it
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The first time I saw Dave he was black and blue and sporting a broken jaw. The night before Dave had been jumped by the goon squad but he didn’t let that stop him. That day I was on the opening shift. I unlocked the bar doors and there he was! The man of my
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If you’ve never struggled with addiction, you’re lucky. You’ll never know the hopelessness of being addicted, or of wanting to stop and not being able too. Imagine something so powerful that it uses you. It’s like that for those of us who are susceptible to a substance use disorder. We voluntarily take our first drink
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With addiction in the family, the line between helping and enabling is blurry. You might think you’re helping when you do for your addicted loved one, what they could and should, be doing for themselves. But what you’re really helping is the addiction taking over your loved one. Imagine addiction as a monster that’s hijacked
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Grieving The Loss Of Someone Who Still Lives When you love someone who struggles with addiction, an internal battle plays out. On the one hand, you’re grateful they’re alive. On the other, you’re mad as hell at them. Somewhere in the middle, you’re sick and exhausted, and you don’t know what to do. It’s different
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Before you judge, take a walk in their shoes… A Day In The Life Of An Addicts’ Mom The shrill ringing of the phone had me bolting up in bed. As I reach to answer, I remind myself to breathe. I handle the receiver as if it’s a deadly viper. I loathe it. The phone
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When helping turns deadly… Signs And Symptoms Of Enabling Behaviors. Addiction is an insidious illness that compromises every aspect of life. It also negatively impacts the lives of family members. Addiction changes the way people think, feel and behave. These changes can most often be seen through unhealthy behavior patterns such as isolating, disconnecting from
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