From the time I was little I learned how to turn my feelings off.

Trouble was, they stayed off.

Then one day I met booze and they turned back on.

I thought I’d found the solution, but what I really found was hell.

Today my off switch is broken.

There is no off, only on.

There are moments I yearn for my off switch, but they are only moments.

Brief minutes in which I move through to emerge, victorious.

The on switch is what allows me to live my truest form of authenticity. 

The on switch has come to signify life and recovery.

The off switch means death, or worse, using.

It is easy to hide in the dark, blaming and numbed out.

It is harder to live and feel.

Change involves discomfort and pain.

Pain brings about growth.

Growth brings wisdom.

Soon you will seek the light, and it will warm you.