The line between helping and enabling the addict in your family is blurry at best. Many ask, “What can I do to help? I don’t want to enable him/her, but I don’t want to throw them out on the street either.”
Pay attention to the statement above. Those of us who’ve been effected by addiction tend to think in black and white – all or nothing – yes or no, good or bad, right or wrong, statements.
Rigid thinking works great when facilitating addiction, but it’s not healthy.
In order to recover we need to shift into the grey area. To a place found in between all or nothing. That’s where balance and flexibility exist.
That’s why family members, and addicts/alcoholics, can’t do this alone. Alone, you only go back to what you know. (Which is what got you into the predicament in the first place)
We all want a quick fix. But there are none. It takes work, patience and willingness to change.
There is no one, right answer. Only a series of mistakes and learning. However I can tell you this. It isn’t until the consequences become greater than the rewards of using, that any addict/alcoholic will choose help. If you’re getting in the way of those consequences, by protecting, bailing out, keeping secrets, or lowering your standards, then you’re enabling the addict. You’ve become part of the problem. The solution? Go to a meeting. Reach out. Tell on yourself. Pick yourself back up, and start again. The only thing worse than living one more day in misery, is living two. If you’re not willing to change, don’t expect the addict to.