Self-Loathing

I made you cry.
and laughed at your tears.
I gave you nightmares
and called you crazy.
I fed you fear
and insecurity.
I hurt you
and lied to you.
I stole your smile
and belittled you.
I judged you
and held you in contempt.
I poisoned you with alcohol.
Then tried to kill you with drugs.
I called you fat and ugly
and ruined your relationships.
I called you a loser
and said you were born to fail…
But I was wrong.
So very, very, wrong.
You were never any of these things my sweet lost child.
Without direction you were like a rudderless ship, sailing in circles, searching, always searching, for a safe harbour.
Crazed with pain you crashed on shore, broken and hopeless.
Drowning, you cried out to a God you never believed in.
In your darkest hour, your cries were heard.
The little flame you were born with, re-lit.
Your hunger for a life, never before lived, granted.
That day, you were re-born.
Under his care, you blossomed.
And you learned never to solely trust me, again.