I’m your recovering adult child.
I don’t belong to drugs any more.
I don’t care about them.
Not in the way I used too.
I care about staying clean.
I will do ANYTHING to stay clean.
I LOVE being clean.
I NEED to be clean… and I will step over my using friends, to do it.
When I look at drugs, I don’t see fun.
I see DEATH.
I used to take your money, now I won’t.
I CARE if you can’t pay the rent.
I CARE if you need groceries.
I CARE if you lie to Dad.
I CARE if you’re broke.
Keep your rings, pay off your loans, keep your electronics, and pay down your credit cards.
I WILL get a job and pay you back.
You thought you could CHANGE me, or SAVE me.
But you can only LOVE me.
A POWER GREATER than the both of us, is in charge.
Something warm and ALIVE flutters within me.
I respond to love and truth.
You can CRY all you want.
I care.
Your tears are healing.
I should know.
I’ve cried buckets of them.
I have integrity and values.
I WILL make amends.
I’ll say anything, do anything, and reach out to anyone, to stay CLEAN.
Although I played the game with you in the past, make no mistake. I play it no more.
I won’t say whatever you want to hear, I won’t promise you the world, I WILL tell you the truth.
I’ll look you in the eye, and try not to break your heart, ever again.
I have HOPE.
t’s energizing and life-giving, and it FEEDS me.
In a strange way you’re resentful of this.
My new life keeps me dependent on my recovery group.
When I’m thinking about my next fix, I find them, quick!
Then, when I’ve talked it out, I leave.
You’re anxious without me.
You phone me and offer to buy my food, or pay my rent.
You LIVE to GIVE.
By now, you’re NEED is greater than mine.
I can’t stay HEALTHY without my recovery group.
You can’t breathe without hearing from me.
When you offer ‘to do’ for me, you think you’re helping.
You believe you’re making a difference, but what you’re really helping… is for me to RELAPSE.
I will tell you that, and you know it, deep down.
We can’t go on like this.
BOTH of us have to change.
I can’t take your help now.
I’m afraid you will die from anxiety, or a heart attack, or stroke.
You’ve waited YEARS for me to change, and see the light.
Now it’s your turn.
Will you PLEASE reach out for help?
You don’t have to keep my secrets, or protect my lies.
I run an honest program.
There are no more messes to clean up.
Please quit loving me to the exclusion of EVERYONE else.
My illness has changed you.
You’ve become bitter and resentful.
Please ask for HELP.
I did.
It saved my life.
I want that for you too.
Your world revolves around one thing only… ME!
I USED to use drugs to cope with my ANXIETY, now I use GOD and the steps.
We were both so MESSED up.
As long as I have YOU to enable me, WE are doomed.
But there is HOPE.
Will you dig deep enough to find the COURAGE that lies within you, to STOP this insanity?
Can your LOVE ever become greater than your FEAR?
Would you be strong enough to reach out?
Will you LOVE me enough to feel your OWN emotional discomfort and stop enabling MY addiction?
You say you would do anything for me, but will you go to an Al-anon meeting?
I’m no longer trapped within the confines of this cold dark, serpent – addiction.
Today, I am … FREE.

sober add

(c) 2014 Jagged Little Edges All Rights Reserved

Leave a Reply