I’m your child, or spouse, or friend
but I’ve changed.
I don’t care about you,
not in the way you want me to.
I care about getting high.
I WANT to get high.
I will do ANYTHING to get high,
I LOVE getting high,
I NEED to get high…
and I will step over you to do it.
When I look at you, I don’t see YOU,
I see a means to an end.
You have money,
I want it.
End of story.
I don’t care if you can’t pay the rent,
I don’t care if you need groceries,
I don’t care if you promised not to give me money again,
I don’t care if you’re broke.
Sell your rings, take a loan, sell your electronics, max out your credit cards,
or borrow the money from someone else, because if you don’t, I will STEAL it.
I WILL find a way to get HIGH.
You think you can CHANGE me, or SAVE me,
but you’re WRONG!
Something cold and dead slithers within me.
I don’t respond to tears.
You can CRY all you want,
it won’t change anything.
My morals are a thing of the past.
I say anything, do anything and hurt anyone, to get my next FIX.
It’s nothing personal. It’s not that deep.
My addiction controls me,
I will say what ever you want to hear,
I will promise you the world,
I will look you in the eyes,
and I will break your heart… Over and over again.
I don’t have a heart.
I have a HUNGER.
It’s calculating and manipulative and it OWNS me.
In a strange way you’re thankful for this.
For when I need something I find you, quick!
Then, when I’ve gotten what I want, I leave.
You’re anxious without me,
you offer to buy my food, or pay my rent.
By now, you’re NEED is almost as great as mine.
I can’t stay SICK without you.
You can’t breathe without ME.
You think you’re helping me,
you believe you’re making a difference,
but what you’re really helping, is my ADDICTION.
I won’t tell you this, but you know it, deep down.
If we keep going like this, one or both of us will die.
Me from an overdose, that you paid for,
and you from a heart attack, or stroke.
You’ve waited YEARS for me to change, or see the light.
You keep my secrets and protect my lies.
You clean up my messes and bail me out.
You love me to the exclusion of EVERYONE else.
Your world revolves around one thing only… ME!
But can your LOVE become greater than your FEAR?
Will you be strong enough to reach out for help?
Will you learn to say NO?
Will you allow me to experience the consequences of my actions?
Will you LOVE me enough to stop enabling my addiction?
I lay trapped within the confines of this cold, dark, serpent – addiction, and I am… dying.