From the moment I was born, addiction has been a constant in my life. My father is an alcoholic, (sober now) and my mother was, well, distracted. Her job was looking after my father. Growing up we learned quickly that feelings were dangerous, and we developed the ability to shut down our emotions. Of course because we were unable to communicate them, we acted them out. It was chaos. We all walked on egg shells and learned the three golden rules. Don’t talk. Don’t trust. Don’t Feel. My sister and I turned to drugs and alcohol. I worked in bars for many years while raising my own family, and passing on all the shit, I swore I never would. My children struggled with addiction. I sought unhealthy men. It wasn’t intentional, it was what I knew. My life was a mess, and if you were in relationship with me, so was yours. 17 years ago the world I knew came to a crashing halt. Everyone in my life had stopped enabling me. EVERYONE! I couldn’t bum, beg, or manipulate my family anymore. It was the worst day of my life. At least that’s what I believed back then. How I HATED my family! With no place left to go, I went to rehab with my tail tucked between my legs and a single purpose. To get the hell out of there as fast as I could! I tried my best to manipulate the counselors and the people in the facility. I really did. But you know the old saying. You can’t con a con. Pain turned back on. So did sorrow and grief. I cried buckets of tears and went through boxes of Kleenex and then something strange began to happen. The paraylyzing grip that had held me so tight throughout my entire life began to loosen. I could breathe easier and my skin began to fit. Then for no good reason at all, I laughed. One of those laugh till you cry and your stomache hurts, kind. The chains of misery fell away and something far more addicting began to take its place. HOPE. Hope… OMG! Suddenly the possibilities were endless and I wanted to shout it from the rooftops. I was living life Clean and Sober and loving it! I’ve been clean ever since. 17 years and counting. Today I am blessed to have a family I love beyond words. I work in the field of addiction helping addicts and their families to recover from the insidious effects of addiction. I share my experience through my books and blog. We focus so keenly on the addict, but addiction effects EVERYONE. Addiction is a family disease. Don’t wait for someone else to change. Be the change!

Below are four different, but similar perspectives on addiction. The addict’s veiwpoint, The mother of the addict’s viewpoint, The wife of the addict’s viewpoint and The daughter of the addict’s viewpoint.

I NEED to get high – an addict’s perspective. https://jaggedlittleedges.com/2014/06/21/i-need-to-get-high/

I NEED you to get clean – a wife’s perspective. https://jaggedlittleedges.com/2014/07/13/i-need-you-clean-a-wifes-pe…

I NEED a clean Dad – a daughter’s perspective. https://jaggedlittleedges.com/2014/07/05/i-need-you/

I NEED to enable – a mother’s perspective. https://jaggedlittleedges.com/2014/07/18/i-need-to-enable-a-mothers-…