I’ve heard it said if you struggle with addiction, your mind is a dangerous neighbourhood. You don’t want to go there alone.There was a very dark time in my life, that I could so relate.

Self – Loathing.

I laughed at your tears.

I made you anxious.

I gave you nightmares.

I called you crazy.

I fed you fear and insecurity.

I abused you and treated you horribly.

I lied to you and called you names.

I stole your smile.

I belittled you.

I judged you.

I shamed you.

I poisoned you with alcohol.

I tried to kill you with drugs.

I said you were fat and ugly and unlovable.

I wanted to ruin your relationships. All of them.

I hated you.

I cheated on you.

I called you the world’s biggest loser.

I thought you were stupid.

I compared you to everyone else, and you were always lacking.

I held you in contempt.

I despised you…

And I was wrong.

So very, very, wrong.

You were never any of these things my sweet, precious, lost, little girl.

Without direction you were like a rudderless ship, sailing in circles, searching, always searching, for a safe harbour.

Crazed with pain you crashed on shore, broken and hopeless.

Drowning, you surrendered, praying to a God you’d never believed in.

Your prayers were heard.

The little flame you were born with, was re-lit.

Your hunger for a life, never before lived, granted.

That day, you were re-born.

And you learned never, to solely trust me again.

Sincerely, Your Mind.

Lorelie Rozzano.