Those of us who cross the threshold into addiction do so because of a missing ingredient. This missing ingredient isn’t something that can be purchased at the store. It doesn’t come in a make-up bottle, or can of hairspray. You can’t find it in relationships with other people, or the car you drive. It’s not about how many zeros are on your pay check, or how many pounds you weigh.
Some people refer to this missing ingredient as a ‘hole in the soul,’ while others search for their next fix in things, finding temporary relief, but never true happiness.
As a kid growing up, all I knew was my skin didn’t fit. It never felt quite right. I wasn’t able to fully relax into it.
Some days are still like that for me.
As I look around I notice an epidemic outbreak. It seems I’m not the only one to suffer from this void. We all do. We’ve become a nation of instant gratification and ‘looking good.’
There’s nothing wrong with looking good, as long as it’s based in solid ground. However, when I base my worth on what I have, or things, my ground is fragile.
Icing is pretty, but it’s purposeless without the cake.
When we need something to complete us, we are still incomplete.
If I move away from who I am, towards what society says I should be, or how I should look, the void gets bigger, and I need more to fill it.
When I follow the beat of your drum, I never learn to embrace the magic of mine.
Today I find myself applauding those individuals who have the courage to be real. Real isn’t something that is easy to be. It requires being congruent. That’s where your insides match your outsides.
So what is this missing ingredient?
If you have the answer to this question, you’re most likely not living beyond your means, or in addiction, or chaos. Your life is not about impressing, or pleasing, others.
Go to the mirror. If you like what you see, chances are you have found your ingredients. Self worth, self respect, self confidence and self love are the answer to this riddle. For without them we choose poorly and simply exist, rather than live.
If you don’t like what you see, change it. Our time here is precious and short.
The next time your child dresses in a pink skirt and orange sweater, congratulate her on her colorful choice. Let’s encourage each other to make choices that appeal to the creative being that dwells within.
Our message is all wrong.
Maybe we don’t need to fit in. Why not stand out? After all, isn’t ‘one of a kind’ priceless? If you’ve marked yourself down, get out the felt pen and ‘up’ your tag.
You know it’s never to late to become who you were always meant to be.
