Welcome Lorelie Rozzano!
Please help me give a warm welcome to fellow Rebel Ink Press writer and author of Jagged Little Edges, a stirring look into the world of addiction and recovery. I caught up with Lorelie recently and asked her a few questions about what inspired the book and what was next…You can find Jagged Little Edges at Amazon in paperback and e-format.
When did you first realize you would tell this series of stories and what was your initial reaction to that realization?
I don’t think I ever realized I would tell this story. I surely never realized it would be a series. It wasn’t until about a third of the way through the first book I understood much more was coming. I’d always wanted to write a book. I’m attracted to fast moving thrillers and always thought I’d write with that genre in mind. The title came to me first with the intro Jagged Little Edges – That was how it had felt for her as long as she could remember. Like cuts, coming first in words, as they tore little pieces of her innocence, trust and self worth. Evolving into the physical form, with a smack to the head, a cuff to the ear and at times, welts and bruising on her back side. But by far, the greatest damage of all was what you couldn’t see. A soul, torn asunder, left with an open wound, a vast emptiness and a hunger that screamed to be fed. After these first few words were in place, the book really wrote me.
I understand that Jagged Little Edges is based in part on your own life experiences. Would you say Lyndsey is a direct reflection of you or is she more a composite of your experience coupled with the stories of other addicts you’ve watched play out?
Short answer both. She is me, in that I’m an addict, luckily one’s who’s recovering. I think every addict/alcoholic carries within a hurt child. Emotions are arrested when you rely on a substance to feel better. Emotionally and behavior wise it isn’t unusual to see grown adults exhibiting childlike behavior. Temper tantrums, threats, unreasonable demands, manipulations, etc. It’s all expected when your child is two, however it’s rather disturbing when your child is an adult. Addiction is a progressive and terminal disease. It is also predictable, which is why it can be successfully treated if, that’s a big if, families get an education and supports in place to stop the enabling process.
What would your advice be to any young teen today who is standing in Lyndsey’s shoes?
Run! But of course she won’t. For any young teen to be standing in Lyndsey’s shoes something’s already happening that might not be as visible as we think. When young women don’t have a healthy significant relationship with the primary male in their lives, usually the father, but it could be step dad or whoever is in position of the fatherly role, and when they are hungry for male attention, if they can’t find it at home they will go looking for it. Now this is not a blaming statement but an educational one. So often we think mothers are the most significant role model in their daughter’s lives. And they are, but they can’t replace Dad. When young girls are emotionally deprived a hunger is born. They usually go seeking Daddy and find emotionally unavailable and unstable men. This of course leads to all sorts of problems, ones that gullible young teen age girls think they can fix by adding more love. Teen girls need to know their worth and have healthy self esteem and boundaries before they can ever get into a healthy relationship. We can’t use others to fix what’s broken inside of us. All that leads to is bigger problems. I would suggest sending our teen daughters to programs that invite empowerment, self worth, and confidence. They need to understand how beautiful and precious they really are. Of course we can’t send our kids out to be repaired if we’re still dealing with issues ourselves. Healthy teens are a product of their environment.
What’s your experience been like working at Edgewood and with others recovering?
Unbelievable! I get to see hopeless, broken people coming through our front doors with their families in tow. The atmosphere is one of great despair and gloom. I greet them with a smile and assure them this is a good day. A great day. An amazing day. For it is on this day that change begins. Nobody ever has to live this way again. We see results immediately, and it isn’t just the addict who needs treatment. This is a family disease. The entire family will need some form of treatment and support. But it’s the littlest casualties of this illness who really steal my heart. Our children. On visiting day you can see the vigilant antenna on top of their little heads circling, trying to assess – is it ok if I laugh to loud? Should I be quiet? What mood are mommy/ daddy in? It isn’t long before the antenna is gone. And soon they are just kids again. Noisy and messy, precious, giggling little kids. No more living in war zones and walking on egg shells for them. I can’t think of any greater reward than getting to see that.
Has your family been supportive of you telling Lyndsey’s story and publishing it? I know for recovering families outing the family secrets can be painful and cause rifts. What’s their reaction been?
My family has been supportive of my writings. Proud too. They know this is a fictional series. And like any good fiction there is also truth. My Dad was the first one in my family to do something about his drinking. He sobered up shortly after I got married. You learn in recovery you are only as sick as your secrets. If you want to become well individually, and as a family system, the secrets need to come out. Hurts need to be acknowledged and healed. You can’t continue enabling a system that only protects the alcoholic. An alcoholic family is one that learns early, don’t talk, don’t trust and don’t feel. When you’ve addressed all three issues you’re well on your way to healthy living.
What’s the one thing you want readers to take away from this story?
Hope. There is always hope. Even if the alcoholic or addict in your life chooses not to become well, you still can. There is nothing more tragic than a family system choosing to go down with the addict. No matter how far down the scale you’ve gone, no matter what you’ve done, or who you’ve done it to, there is always hope. All you have to do – is learn to do it different. After all, the meaning of insanity is to do the same thing over and over, expecting a different result. This theory applies to our family members to. If you want help it’s available. You can call me or you can google Alcohol and Drug referral services in your own communities. The first step is in admitting you have a problem and then doing something about it. Whether it’s your own drinking, or somebody else’s
Did you find writing this story therapeutic and was it part of your own recovery and healing process to tackle this project?
Yes. When it comes to writing I’ve always been able to describe my feelings in an unguarded fashion. No filters. I had no expectations on this book. I had no idea when I first sat down at the keyboard where it would go or even what it would look like. It’s been an experience and process that’s hard to describe. Therapeutic for sure, there is nothing barbed or hurting left in me. But it woke something up. Words that must have been there for a long time just waiting for the opportunity to be seen and heard. Sometime’s I’m not even sure it’s me writing this. It’s bigger than me. But whatever it is, it’s done with patiently waiting. Hence the series.
You mention this is book one in what will be a series, would you care to share some insight into upcoming additions to this series?
Love to. I’m really excited about it. I’m just finishing the second book and it will blow your mind! The feedback I get over and over is “I can’t put it down!” It’s an addictive read with similar content. This is not because I’m the best writer out there by any means. I’m not. Why this book is so hard to put down, it’s because one out of ten is affected by the disease of addiction. Personally I think it’s higher than that. If you do the numbers, that means everyone. Every single person knows someone, or loves someone, or is someone, with this illness. You will see yourself in this book. You will relate to its characters. These books will take you on a journey, through the depths of despair and hopelessness, leading its viewers out and into the light. It educates and empowers. This is more than just a good read. This book has purpose. A job. It is my hope that these series will bring about honest discussion and the willingness to make the changes necessary to facilitate a fulfilling and beautiful life.
I’ve provided a free download for our children. A powerful little book we named Gracie’s Secret. It started as a drawing by my granddaughter, Emma. All I did was put words to it and voila Gracie’s Secret was born. You can find it at www.jaggedlittleedges.com
Jagged Little Edges. That’s how it had felt for her as long as she could remember. Like cuts, coming first in words as they tore little pieces of her innocence, trust and self worth, evolving into the physical form with a smack to the head, a cuff to the ear and at times, welts and bruises on her back side. By far the greatest damage of all was what couldn’t be seen. A soul torn asunder, left with an open wound, a vast emptiness and a hunger that screamed to be fed.
Lyndsey wanted nothing more than to be on her own. Problem was that’s what she’d been doing her entire life. She didn’t trust others and always held a piece of herself back. Lyndsey knew something was missing and she was determined to find it. Not comfortable in her own skin and trying to fill the vast emptiness, she stood on the edge.
Needing to belong to somebody, Lyndsey discovers love, the kind of love that’s sick and leaves her needing more. She’ll do anything for him and does. Lyndsey learns that love hurts, but still, she searches for her happy ending. Not able to find what she’s looking for in people, places or things, Lyndsey descends into a spiral of hopelessness.
This story follows a ten year journey on the need for love and leads readers through the depths of despair and addiction. It will move and inspire. It will leave readers on the edge of their seat wanting more…
Lori J Gordon
I highly recommend this book. 🙂
Lori J Gordon