I just came across this and wanted to share it with you. This is an apt description of addiction. Left untreated addiction simply appears as something else. Thanks for sharing Anthea, your honesty inspires me to keep it real. All the best, Lorelie Rozzano.

Addiction-by Anthea Carson

It’s not that you can’t stop doing something you don’t want to do. It’s that you can’t stop wanting to do something that is ruining in your life. ”

Oh, no it’s not ruining my life! It’s not ruining my life!”

That’s what you tell yourself.

You never stop lying to yourself. You tell yourself you can have just one. You tell yourself you can have just one more. You lie to yourself about what it’s doing to you.

Then you quit. But not drinking makes you want to eat. You switch from one substance to the other.

You stop drinking and start overeating. You stop eating and start smoking. You stop smoking and switch back to drinking.

You stop all substances and become self-righteous, sitting in judgement of everyone around you. You get high on your own self-righteous judgement of others.

You stop that and start this. Then you tell yourself it’s someone else’s fault. It’s not the lies you tell others, it’s the lies you tell yourself.

You tell yourself it’s only one bite, made with whole grains; that it’s good for you because it’s gluten free. It’s not the lies you tell others, but the lies you tell yourself.

You eat some more, look in the mirror, and see a thin girl. You starve yourself, look in the mirror and see a fat girl. You hate yourself, but you disguise it as hatred for others. You think you’ve stopped lying to yourself but how would you know? You can’t believe anything you say.

That’s addiction.

Yea, that’s me.

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