1) What is addiction? Addiction is the inability to stop using all mood altering chemicals and or behavior, despite the negative results. It’s different than problem drinking/using. People with a problem can acknowledge it and stop. People with an addiction can’t.
2) How do addictions develop in a person’s life? Some say we are born with the predisposition. A genetic predisposition if you will. In the experimental stage a person takes a drink, toke or snort, etc. The pleasure pathway in the brain is stimulated. In an addict, or alcoholic, the experience is so euphoric and profound they begin to structure a lifestyle around it.
3) What impact does addiction have on the person/others/workplace and society? The impact is stunning. It builds gradually and over time. The substance abuser is very often not even aware, nor is the family, until deep into the final stages of addiction. For example addiction develops a defense system – of rationalizing, justifying, blaming, minimizing, denying, self pity, delusion and manipulation. So often the host of this illness blames others for their behavior. “My job is stressful, I need to unwind.” “It’s just a stage, they/I will grow out of it” “My boss is a jerk.” ‘I work hard I deserve it.” “My wife nags me.” ‘It helps me sleep/ relax.” “The cop was picking on me.” This disease isn’t about how much you use, although of course physically that’s a real problem. But it’s bigger than that. It’s about how you think, behave and feel. Addiction in the workplace is dangerous. Obviously if you are handling heavy equipment or anything of this nature its deadly. But it affects every workplace. It under minds positive attitude and is entitled. It’s often lazy and complaining, and likes company. Addiction is impulsive, irrational and terminal. You see it in the emergency rooms and hospital wards. In the psychiatric units. On long term disability and social aide. You see it in our government funded programs such as Ministry of Families and Children. So many families are devastated by the impact of addiction.
4) What role does environment, culture, and family dynamics play? They play a big role. If you are growing up in a family where substance use and abuse are the norm chances are you’ll be experimenting far earlier than your peer group. For one thing you won’t have to look far if you’re curious. It will be available in your own home. An attitude of tolerance and justifying will have firmly established itself in this home. Emotional health will be stunted. For when you start misusing substances, ie: using to make you feel better, you stunt your emotions. You never develop the skill set to work through difficult situations. Most often in homes where heavy substance use is the norm, new dynamics begin to appear. Don’t talk. Don’t trust. Don’t feel. Families adjust their needs to accommodate the addict.
5) Does trauma play a role in addiction? Short answer yes. For instance, approximately 80 % of men and woman who were sexually abused as children develop mental health and or addiction disorders. Look at our Vietnam Vets. But it doesn’t have to be anything quite as traumatic as war or sexual molestation. Abuse plays a role also. And abuse doesn’t just come in the guise of a fist. It comes in far sneakier clothing. Withholding affection. Emotional neglect. Verbal abuse such as put downs and sarcasm. Verbal beatings, character assignations and name calling. Behavior that is continuous and erodes anothers self worth and self esteem.
6) At what point does a person typically recognize they have a problem and need help? Sadly, by the time this realization has occurred the disease is often in its final stages. Some will lose their jobs, homes, or family. Maybe their doctor has told them their drinking is affecting their health. But often not. Addiction is firmly entrenched in delusion, and delusion is sincere in its belief. There are many eye blinks of reality in addiction. I know for myself they were there. But when you have an illness that hijacks common sense and reasoning and is always coming up with excuses to continue on, you’re doomed without an intensive treatment phase.
7) How does a program like Edgewood assist people with addiction? For one thing it takes them out of their own environment. This is crucial. Addiction requires an enabling system. Our job is to break through the denial system that has built up. To show what delusion looks like. To help identify character defaults, dishonest thinking and relapse triggers. To develop healthy boundaries and to strengthen emotional well being and health. To encourage honesty, willingness and gratitude. To facilitate healthy family systems through our various family programs, and to follow up with long term aftercare.
8) Can you describe the program? Edgewood is an opened ended treatment program with average length of stay approximately 7 to 8 weeks. If the patient is a habitual relasper they will often be recommended for our phase two program, Extended Care. This program facilitates the patient’s interaction with in the community, perhaps working or going to school, while still being monitored and supported throughout this transition period. A key factor to an addict’s inability to get to treatment can often be detox. Many facilities require the client be detoxed first. We are very lucky to have full medical and psychiatric staff that specialize in addiction and help our clients detox on site. This is particularly important because it is often the first few days after detox, when the client is feeling better that can be the most dangerous for the addict or alcoholic. It is this time when the disease’s defense system kicks in and begins minimizing its affects.
9) How long does recovery take? Recovery is a lifelong process. But drastic changes are apparent immediately, particularly if treatment is included. Without treatment it can be a lifelong battle of continuous relapse and climbing back on the wagon. Change of some kind needs to be made. Whether it’s attending 12 step meetings, counseling or treatment, you can’t just wish this away. Personally, I’m a big believer in treatment. If the addict could have managed their problems alone, they would have. For me it wasn’t enough to just attend meetings, I still had the other 23 hours in the day to contend with. I couldn’t fight this on my own and the treatment process is structured so I couldn’t fake my way through it. I got well in spite of myself.
10) What roles do family play in recovery, or sustaining the problem? Family plays a big role in everything we do. Especially with addiction. I will say it again. Addiction requires an enabling system. It can’t exist without one. Somebody is cleaning up the mess and shouldering the consequences of addiction. If it’s not the addict, he/she will never become well. They can’t. This is one of my biggest frustrations with this illness. Families keep waiting for their loved ones to do something different but are not willing to do the work themselves. It’s dangerous. When you continue to enable the disease of addiction people die. If families don’t get the help they need, their lives become unmanageable also. Now we have a much bigger problem than addiction. I see families who are on the verge of bankruptcy, divorce and nervous breakdowns and still insist it is not they who have the problem. Cunning, baffling and powerful, comes to mind. You can’t lead a healthy person to a sick one and expect the sick person to get well. With addiction, all that happens, is you now have two sick people.
11) What kinds of changes does a person with addiction need to make in their lives? First most obviously, to become abstinent free. But it is much bigger than that. The hardest part is admitting you have a problem, that your best thinking got you into this predicament. So if you can’t trust your thinking you’ll need to ask for help. That’s hard and humbling at first. Then there’s the shame. Once you’ve cleared, and your mind is no longer under any mood altering substance you experience intense emotions. For addicts and alcoholics this is scary. They no longer have the crutch of being numb. You can’t be truly alive and numb at the same time. You become responsible for your behavior, finances, and outcomes. You quit manipulating others to get what you want. You no longer hang out with using friends or in using places. Families will need to look at their relationship with substances. You focus on gratitude, honesty, willingness, accountability and service. You give back.
12) What are the risk factors for relapse? High. Without treatment the success ratio is grim. It is tragic this disease is the most treatable and yet so many resist treatment. With family systems often enabling until the terminal stages, and then sometimes it’s too late. If you can catch this illness early enough it is completely treatable. But so many get caught up in the details. This is not about what you use, or how much you are using. It’s about how you live. Do you live in chaos and failure? Do you live in excuses and blame? Do you live in ruptured relationships and poor me? Do you live in expecting others to do for you what you could, and should, be doing for yourself? Do you live in geographical cures and bailouts? Do you live in misery and suffering? With treatment and long term aftercare, the prognosis for relapse is low. I went to treatment in 97 have been sober ever since.
13) Is it common to relapse before final recovery? It doesn’t have to be. If I believed that I’m pretty certain I’d be dead by now. But the truth is while treatment might not stop you from relapsing, it sure will stop you having any fun doing it. A belly full of beer and a head full of AA/treatment never mix well. There are a few that seem determined to put it to the test. But if they live to tell about it they’re often humbled. The disease beat them again and this time they will go to any lengths to stay sober. If you’re willing to go to any lengths to stay sober, you will.
14) How much time does it take before one becomes confident that a person is stable in recovery? Some think a year is an indicator of stability. I’m more a believer of action. It’s not about the words. As a matter of fact talk is cheap. Are you going to aftercare and meetings? Have you worked the steps? Have you stopped manipulating others and making excuses? Are you an asset to your family, workplace and society? What are you doing to give back and help others? I never want to become so confident in my sobriety that I think I’ve got it beat – I don’t and I know for sure it will turn around and kick me in the ass if I ever think I do! Stability in recovery for me is about the quality of my life, it’s not so much about the drinking anymore, it’s about the living. I’m responsible for my own happiness now. I can’t look to put that on anyone else.
15) Examples of people who have made positive changes in their recovery. Because this is an anonymous program I will stick with me. But I’ve seen people from all walks of life make positive changes. It’s not rocket science. It’s desperation, despair and willingness. The courage to go forward. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine recovery looked like this. I’ve seen my grandchildren take their first breath. They’ve never seen me take a drink. I can feel things like love and joy and appreciate their enormity. I don’t poison others around me anymore with my attitudes and behaviors. I don’t break anymore laws or hearts. I stopped destroying mine. I appreciate the most profound things like fingers and toes. I love my life, every single moment. I embrace pain and the growth it will teach me. I try and teach others and inspire hope. I write books that carry this message. I know my purpose and I’m honored to share it.
16) Take home advice for our listeners? Stop making excuses. You’re life is your responsibility. You deserve a great life. If you’re grown, no one can take that from you. Don’t let fear dictate your choices. Later may never come. Don’t let this be your legacy, or your families. There is never any shame in getting well. Become an inspiration, not a statistic. Reach out your hand. Show up for your life. For courage isn’t the absence of fear, but going forward in spite of it.
